April 27, 2012

specials: onion quinoa bisque, the ULTIMATE B&M, Seafood Tempura Singapura, brûlée butter cake w red wine plum

this week's specials, available from today, all day, and possibly all week or while fresh ingredients last

soup of the day: onion & quinoa bisque, sprinkled with dill

Had to look this one up. Le Kitchen Slugs like to cook things which Le Drivel Writer no understand. Le dictionary says quinoa (pronounced kin-wa) is "a goosefoot found in the Andes, where it was widely cultivated for its edible starchy seeds before the introduction of Old World grains."

Two questions:

1) Simi si 'goosefoot'?

2) Simi si 'Old World grains' ?

With a tippy-tap of le keyboard, le dictionary then explained goosefoot is "a plant of temperate regions with divided leaves that are said to resemble the foot of a goose. Some kinds are edible and many are common weeds."

So there. We're feeding you weed seeds.

And speaking of dill, we thought this was knee-slapping guffaw-inducing HI-LA-RIOUS

© Threadless

This week, instead of having a thing to share-share, we are introducing you a new menu item.

Introducing: The ULTIMATE Bangers & Mash

Ultimately, if you're a Bangers & Mash fan, this would be like, the ultimate fantasy. The B&Ms of all B&Ms.

Featuring three studly bangers: German pork bratwurst, chicken chipolata, and spicy Italian pork & beef sausages. Handsomely sat atop Real Mash™, with sautéed onions and wholegrain mustard for merry accompaniment.

special main: Seafoodura Tempura Singapura

Beer-battered seafood and beans tempura, with a zingy garlicky taucheo sauce.

Simi si 'taucheo'? Taucheo si soybean paaaaaste. (you must say this in a very aunty-aunty tone okayyyy)

Use fingers and dip-dip like this for full enjoyment. But if you want to use fork, also can, we won't judge you.

dessert special: brûlée all-butter cake, with plump red wine poached plums

And a generous scoop of vanilla gelato topped with almond tar to top it all off

This is what we call "The Titanic shot"

Thank you once again, for reading right till the very end. We are deeply, deeply heartened by your... patience. So here's a little reward for those of us who prefer quiet days and quiet nights: Should our gentle reader choose to visit our humble li'l diner on a weekday to avoid the weekend crowd, here's a little Happy Hour special you might enjoy.

See you this weekend, and see you one of these quiet nights too.

April 24, 2012

"Singapore's answer to Feist"

Le poster is here!

And so are Le "Ear Candy". So witty, we rike ^_^

More here for the infinitely curious: www.hellosongbird.com

April 20, 2012

specials: watercress vichyssoise, risotto paella croquette, pulled pork, nutella-sandwiched waffles

this week's specials, available from today, all day, and possibly all week or while fresh ingredients last.

soup of the day: Nasturtium officinale vichyssoise

Also known as watercress soup. Ha! That's just us trying to be smartasses. Traditionally vichyssoise is served chilled but nuuuuu... this week we are joining the REBELS! As rebels, we rebel against... tradition! And so, tonight, tomorrow and possibly all week, we join arms in penultimate rebellion and we... shall... serve... watercress vichyssoise...... WARM.

You heard us. *nods menacingly*

things to share-share: risotto paella croquette

Is it a risotto? Or a paella? Or a croquette? Neither, neither, neither! By golly holy breadcrumbs, it's ALL THREE :-O

The riso (that's smartass for 'rice') is cooked in a painstakingly-made vegetable stock. And by painstaking, we mean coriander roots and saffron-wine. *nods menacingly again*

Break the croquette in half and dip it in the delicately-made zingy lemongrass sauce.

special main: pulled pork in our very own hickory barbecue sauce

Most weeks we don't give you any options (oh, at least not publicly). Ya take it or ya leave it. *menacing nod* This week, in line with our newfound rebellion, we offer you pulled pork in three different styles:

pulled pork over pasta - gently tossed with fresh white button mushroom and sweet roasted garlic

pulled pork over buttery mash - straightforward and hearty

pulled pork in a sandwich

[ no peekture. use your imagination *menacing nod*]

dessert special: nutella-sandwiched waffles, drizzled with crushed almond, butterscotch banana and a generous scoop of vanilla gelato

Do not eat any of these things separately. Follow these instructions for maximum effect:

• First, neatly place a chunk of nutella-sandwich waffle in the centre of a spoon, fork or palm of your hand.

• Place a slice of butterscotch banana on top of waffle chunk.

• Top the already sinful pile with a scoop of low-fat vanilla gelato. This is absolutely necessary because the gelato is low-fat mah. Cancels out the nutella and butterscotch calories.*

*Disclaimer: Completely unscientifically proven. YMMV.

If you loves banana like we loves banana then let's BA BA BA BABANANA BA BA BA BABANANA NA NA NA AHH POTATO NA AH AH BANANA AH AH TO GA LI NO PO TA TO NI GA NI BA LO BA NI KA NO JI GA~ BA BA BA BABANANA. YO PLANO HU LA PA NO NO TU MA BANANA LIKE A NUPI TALAMO BANANA BA BA POTATO HO HOOOOOO TO GA LI NO PO TA TO NI GA NI BA LO BA NI KA NO JI GA BA BA BA BABANANAAAAAAAAA

Last but not least, if you happen to order any of the pulled pork options, ideally you ought to happen to pair it with a Hobgoblin beer.

Currently the 5th best-selling bottled ale in the UK, the Hobgoblin is full-bodied and well-balanced with a chocolate toffee malt flavour, moderate bitterness and a distinctive fruity character with a ruby red glow.

If you hold the bottle up closely to your ear, you will hear - no not the waves of the sea - you will hear the Hobgoblin's menacing whisper.. "What's the matter Lagerboy, afraid you might taste something?"

Take up the challenge. Taste something this weekend.

April 20, 2012

specials: watercress vichyssoise, risotto paella croquette, pulled pork, nutella-sandwiched waffles

this week's specials, available from today, all day, and possibly all week or while fresh ingredients last.

soup of the day: Nasturtium officinale vichyssoise

Also known as watercress soup. Ha! That's just us trying to be smartasses. Traditionally vichyssoise is served chilled but nuuuuu... this week we are joining the REBELS! As rebels, we rebel against... tradition! And so, tonight, tomorrow and possibly all week, we join arms in penultimate rebellion and we... shall... serve... watercress vichyssoise...... WARM.

You heard us. *nods menacingly*

things to share-share: risotto paella croquette

Is it a risotto? Or a paella? Or a croquette? Neither, neither, neither! By golly holy breadcrumbs, it's ALL THREE :-O

The riso (that's smartass for 'rice') is cooked in a painstakingly-made vegetable stock. And by painstaking, we mean coriander roots and saffron-wine. *nods menacingly again*

Break the croquette in half and dip it in the delicately-made zingy lemongrass sauce.

special main: pulled pork in our very own hickory barbecue sauce

Most weeks we don't give you any options (oh, at least not publicly). Ya take it or ya leave it. *menacing nod* This week, in line with our newfound rebellion, we offer you pulled pork in three different styles:

pulled pork over pasta - gently tossed with fresh white button mushroom and sweet roasted garlic

pulled pork over buttery mash - straightforward and hearty

pulled pork in a sandwich

[ no peekture. use your imagination *menacing nod*]

dessert special: nutella-sandwiched waffles, drizzled with crushed almond, butterscotch banana and a generous scoop of vanilla gelato

Do not eat any of these things separately. Follow these instructions for maximum effect:

• First, neatly place a chunk of nutella-sandwich waffle in the centre of a spoon, fork or palm of your hand.

• Place a slice of butterscotch banana on top of waffle chunk.

• Top the already sinful pile with a scoop of low-fat vanilla gelato. This is absolutely necessary because the gelato is low-fat mah. Cancels out the nutella and butterscotch calories.*

*Disclaimer: Completely unscientifically proven. YMMV.

If you loves banana like we loves banana then let's BA BA BA BABANANA BA BA BA BABANANA NA NA NA AHH POTATO NA AH AH BANANA AH AH TO GA LI NO PO TA TO NI GA NI BA LO BA NI KA NO JI GA~ BA BA BA BABANANA. YO PLANO HU LA PA NO NO TU MA BANANA LIKE A NUPI TALAMO BANANA BA BA POTATO HO HOOOOOO TO GA LI NO PO TA TO NI GA NI BA LO BA NI KA NO JI GA BA BA BA BABANANAAAAAAAAA

Last but not least, if you happen to order any of the pulled pork options, ideally you ought to happen to pair it with a Hobgoblin beer.

Currently the 5th best-selling bottled ale in the UK, the Hobgoblin is full-bodied and well-balanced with a chocolate toffee malt flavour, moderate bitterness and a distinctive fruity character with a ruby red glow.

If you hold the bottle up closely to your ear, you will hear - no not the waves of the sea - you will hear the Hobgoblin's menacing whisper.. "What's the matter Lagerboy, afraid you might taste something?"

Take up the challenge. Taste something this weekend.

April 17, 2012

Ah Beng talks about Singapore History & Current Affairs...

(all that's missing is a soft, rap beat in the background..)

--

Under the 'Ang Mo' we all live happily together, no complain.

Malaysia & Singapore is one big family in our brains.

One day we both like two durians cannot get along.

Got sharp thorns, poke each other until 'Buay Song'

One moment like brothers, can give and take.

Next moment we kena kicked out by the leg.

Wah! Our towkay also cry like mad,

We all also feel very very sad

Our neigbours all say, 'Wah they all sure to die!

They got nothing, how to get next bowl of rice?'

So 'Boh Pian,' we all work day and night.

We also join the army so that we can fight.

We don't care others 'see us no up'.

But actually inside we very pain in the heart.

Then slowly hor we grow rich and a bit fat.

Now others talk about us also got some respect.

They scratch their heads and say 'Very funny! Got nothing how come they can still make money?'

Last time also got no money to buy ice-cream cone.

Nowadays even small kids can also afford handphone.

Seaport, airport also can become Number One.

He! He! Sometimes think about it also very fun.

But some people look at us also not happy.

Actually they jealous don't want to say only.

So every time their country got something wrong.

They all say Singapore's behind it all along.

Everybody know we water no enough.

They turn off tap only we all cannot last.

They threaten us with water supply and shout 'Cut! Cut! Cut!'

Aiyoh! They all think the water is one big ketupat.

We all hear already also Buay Tahan'

Wah liao, they think we small can makan!

But now they 'cow pay cow bu' we all not very scared.

We want to build water desalination plant already so not so bad.

But their own economy now all go bust.

Got to sell water otherwise money no enough.

Then another neighbor say Singapore no friend friend,

Got so much money, a bit more also donno how to lend.

They say we all only one small red dot,

Like the center of a big dartboard.

Maybe they think we mouse and they cat,

That's why they suka suka anyhow talk like that.

But we all still send them a lot of rice

Show the world we actually very very nice.

Sometimes we 'Cho Ho Sim' also kena whack.

But we all gentleman wan, don't want to fight back.

I think hor maybe they don't understand us very well.

That's why relationship sometimes like heaven sometimes like hell

Some say aiyah our prosperity is all due to luck,

That's why we all 'Siao Siao' can still win the Tiger Cup

I think hor, Singapore is like Chilli Padi in a pot -

Size small small but still very very hot.

April 14, 2012

specials: mushroom potage, sausage platter, Cowboy Burger, bacon & eggs pizza, knickerbocker glory sundae

specially-made specials. Available from today, all day, and possible all week or while fresh ingredients last.

soup of the day: mushroom potage "with herbs & spices"

Simi herbs & spices, you ask? If we tell you we'll have to grill you. Myehehe..

things to share-share: Mixed Sausage Platter

And by mixed we don't mean the half-breed, mongrel category of things. (Not that half-bloods and mongrels are a bad thing. They are, in our humble opinion, by far the most beautiful creatures on the face of this earth.)

By mixed, we mean a delightful motley crew of The International Sausage Batallion : Sergeant Pork Bratwurst from the County of Germany, Lieutenant Chipolata from the Land of Chicken, and General Spicy Sausage from the Kingdom of Italy. Their proud battle cry being, "United we stand, divided we become a sausage platter." Grill one, grill all.

special main: Cowboy Burger

Before anyone can jump at us and say "Y U COOK COWBOYYYYY THE CATTTTTTTT!" (Actually got people jump already. Thanks ah Daphne >_<), please allow us to explainnnnnn..

1) No cats nor cowboys were harmed in the making of this burger.

2) The burger is duly named after Cowboy, the immensely hemsem resident cat of Lorong L. He is a stunningly calm & collected cat with a smouldering gaze, who really knows how to enjoy a little bit of everything, and really knows how to enjoy life.

Which is why the Cowboy Burger has a little bit of everything: No-filler minced beef & pork steak, grilled in a smokey barbecue sauce, layered with cheesy scrambled egg, streaky bacon, and sautéed onions. All carefully 'kiapped' in a lightly-toasted sesame bun.

pizza special: bacon & eggs pizza

We love bacon & eggs. We love pizza. ZOMG SUPER BRILLIANT GENIUS IDEA PUT 'EM TOGETHER AND MAKE A... A... NO, NOT A BIRD! NOT A PLANE! MAKE A... A... BACON & EGGS PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAA KYYYAAAAAAAA

This is also our Fare Thee Well Golden Handshake pizza as we will be removing pizzas from the menu. So as we carefully deliberate on every morsel of smokey bacon, baked bean, egg, and onion ring on this here pizza, we shed a symbolic tear for every pizza base and wooden pizza board that has graced our shiny, stainless steel racks. Adieu, fair pizza. May we cross paths again someday, perhaps on another weekly specials page.

dessert special: Knickerbocker Glory Sundae

The sundae of all sundaes. With only sixteen layers of vanilla gelato, peach Melba, almond stracciatella, sea salt dulce de leche, jaffa truffle bar, with a dollop of chocolate whiskey cream, and... you guessed it, more vanilla gelato.

Sixteen layers only. It's not as scary as it sounds. It is, in fact, quite the dulcet creature, rewarding in its own way, the end of a taxing work week and the start of a knickerbocker glorious weekend.

beverage pairing: Look. What is this crazy weather. 32°C you say??

Rinse away the heatwave with a very refreshing Iced Lemongrass Tea. Or a very refreshing Iced Longan Tea. Which one is better? They're both equally good in keeping the heat and heatiness at bay, howe

ver the former comes out tops in keeping the mozzies away. True story.

As always, a small reward for those who read till the gory end!

SEKRET TIP (yez, sekret tipz muz alwayz be in BIG - bold - red lettering) You can score yourself a free iced lemongrass tea. Yez. Iz free. Betcha didn't know that, didja?

HOW? If you're on Foursquare, simply "check in" to The Garden Slug everytime you're physically seated here at our humble li'l diner. For every second visit, you'll unlock a very refreshing iced lemongrass tea, ON DA HAUS.

If you're not on Foursquare... download it lor ^_^ Hurhur. Have a good weekend, y'all.

April 13, 2012

An old dog can teach you new tricks. Dunch play-play.

(from e-mail... from a father who is ageing gracefully.. ^_^ )

--

An old German Shepherd dog starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther. The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says,

"Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

Moral of this story... Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

Of course, I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just 'youthfully challenged'.

You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?

March 30, 2012

specials: tomato capsicum cumin soup, Ohm-elette, chicken cordon bleu burger, Cinnamon toast sticks

Five years ago, we decided that we wanted to serve rustic, hearty fare. Five years on, we are still serving rustic, hearty fare.

So, dear gentle reader, welcome to yet another installation in our ongoing series of rustic, hearty specials.

This week's rustic, hearty specials, available from today, all day, and quite possibly all week or while fresh ingredients last.

soup of the day: rustic, hearty roasted capsicum, slow-braised with tomato and a touch of cumin

all day breakfast special: The Ohm-elette.

Called the Ohm-elette because, look at it. So calm. So whole. So together.

Until you break into it. And then... ta-dah!

The Ohm-elette then transforms into the "Omelette with Everything But The...".

Blurry, pseudo-artsy "mood" shot is intentional, to keep you guessing.

special main: chicken cordon bleu burger.

Carefully layered with honey-baked ham, gooey mozzarella, garlic-herbed mushroom and caramelised onion. It's going to be a bit of a messy affair. Dun say we neh warn you hor.

dessert special: cinnamon toast sticks with warm maple syrup, topped with a generous ball of vanilla gelato

Very limited portions available.

This weekend, apart from doing our best serving rustic, hearty fare, we'll be kicking back, staring upwards at our beautiful eastern sky, and counting our blessings.

We'll be writing down 100 things that we are grateful for.

Right at the top of that list, of course, is you. Thank you, thank you, thank you ... because you are what makes us.

March 23, 2012

specials: pumpkin tomato soup, Reuben hash, Parmesan-dill turkey schnitzel, tempura rum raisin cheesecake

this week's specials, available from today, all day, and possible all week or while fresh ingredients last

We're cutting to the chase this time. Less talk, more photos.

soup of the day: golden roasted pumpkin & tomato

Patiently roasted, blended, braised - specially made for the people we love to end the week, and begin the meal with.

all day breakfast special: Reuben hash cheese egg bake

Golden, crispy hash brown tossed with roast beef strips, baked gooey mozarella and fresh market eggs. Generously topped with you-know-it's-good-for-you onions and garlic.

Gratuitous ready-to-be-pronged-with-a-hungry-fork shot.

special main: parmesan-dill turkey schnitzel, glazed with a red wine cranberry reduction, served with Real Mash™ and garden salad by side.

We've been told this is the schnit, yo. (thank you for your kind praises!)

dessert special: tempura rum & raisin cheesecake.

Flash-fried and served crispy-yet-tender, gently drizzled with dark chocolate and raspberry coulis.

Gratuitous edited-with-yet-another-one-of-those-iPhone-apps shot.

In other news, we've had the honour of www.itv.sg visiting us this week and filming some of our dishes. ITV is one of those, you know, um, newfangled thingamajig online-based TV show type of things? #oldslugspeak Nonetheless, we can't wait for our episodes to air.

March 3, 2012

specials: triple mushroom chowder, garlic mushroom toast, wagyu bolognese, roast beef pizza, cinnamon french toast

this week's specials, available from today, all day, and possibly all week or while fresh ingredients last

soup of the day: slow-braised triple mushroom chowder, w/ a light drizzle of cream

Introducing - a new All Day Breakfast item: garlic mushroom stacked brown toast w/ pesto, layered w/ tomatoes and lime paprika corn nibbles.

Option to add smoked salmon or crunchy bacon

Introducing - another new All Day Breakfast item: hand-battered cinnamon French Toast sticks w/ golden syrup

Option to add a generous ball of Vanilla Gelato

Introducing - a new Pasta item: Wagyu Bolognese, done the TGS way. Lightly tossed with Wagyu mince, fresh tomatoes and wine.

pizza special: roast beef w/ white button mushrooms & paprika onion rings

booze: Brothers Tutti Frutti Pear Cider (4% ABV)

Starting this week, we're having a voting contest. Vote for your favourite weekend special, and stand to win... more weekend specials...! Frightfully delightful, is it not.

Voting slips will be given out as you settle your bill, and just before you leave our humble li'l diner, you may toss your votes into our humble li'l ballot pot, humbly placed somewhere in a humble li'l corner, like oh, maybe on one of the bookshelves.

This will go on for the next two months. Results will be tallied, and the Slug with the most votes for his/her specials stands to win... wait for it... a pair of Lady Gaga concert tickets.

And as for you, gentle reader, you stand to win... have we already mentioned this? You stand to win a whole suite of weekend specials. Vote away.

(download)